On Happiness
Arthur Brooks writes about happiness vs. happy feelings and says, “they are not the same thing; feelings are not happiness; feelings are evidence of happiness; a part of the brain (limbic system) creates emotion if you mistake these feelings for happiness you will be chasing these feelings all over the place.” This is very hard to differentiate but important to understand as he goes on to explain.
Does Unhappiness=the lack of happiness? True or False? Dr. Brooks reminds us that, “You can actually have happy and unhappy feelings in parallel and this is normal. The average person does have negative emotions and it’s important we all accept this.” However, these are the emotions you do need to pay attention to. (sadness-what you feel as mental pain; social exclusion or separation from loved one) (anger, fear: both deal with threat and this causes stress hormones) and (disgust-maybe smelling something is spoiled); grief is unremediated sadness (death, divorce); studies have looked at all of this in neuroscience. We can often feel all of this in physical pain and this varies a lot for individuals. We all feel these feelings and the variation is in intensity and frequency. Metacognition is the process of experiencing these emotions and assemble these emotions so you can grow and move through these and what is your response to these “feelings.” This week I have asked you to consider some major stressors in your life (or your feelings), how they affect you and strategies to work on them.
Please if you have time, to add some reading or listening, check out the below recommendations.
I highly recommend his book: Build the Life You Want along with the Workbook for Building the Life you Want which can be purchased on Amazon
I have also read Jay Shetty recently and he highly recommends meditation of three variations: breathwork, visualization, and sound. Breathwork has physical and psychological benefits to find more stillness, balance and calmness for yourself. Visualization will help you heal your past and envision your future and Chanting is a benefit used to connect with your deepest self.
From Jay’s book he shared the below most common regrets dying people express:
I wish I had expressed my love to the people I care about.
I wish I hadn’t worked so much.
I wish I’d taken more pleasure in life.
I wish I’d done more for other people.
He states, “We don’t want to arrive at the end of our days knowing we haven’t lived a purposeful, service-based, meaningful life.”
Step Four: Assignment Detail
Prompt: Everyone deals with a certain level of stress throughout their lives and those levels can change depending on internal and external factors. In your own words, express how life stressors and your personality have the potential to affect you in your daily life.
List in order of priority, three (3) behaviors that you would like to change to decrease your vulnerability to stress. I hope exercise can be part of your stress management strategy and if it is, please share something you learned from the article.
Briefly describe how you intend to accomplish these (3) things. (minimum 1-2 paragraphs)